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Even Big Guys Cry by reichenator Even Big Guys Cry by reichenator
To start off, this was most certainly not my work. It was done by :iconcameo647: if you haven't already, you NEED to go watch her now.

Now about this piece...

I'm a big guy, I play college football and I am trying to become a cop, which means I have to keep up a certain image for myself. I can't show any signs of weakness to anybody, no matter how much I'm hurting.

That takes a toll on the body though, and leads to nights like these, or worse...

I have been fighting depression for a few months now, and it's not an easy fight. I have... More often than I would like... Thought of suicide... It has crossed my mind far too many times these last few months that I almost did it once...

I'm not a smart man, I struggle to remember things and that hurts my grades a lot, making my school that much more of a struggle. If I cannot succeed here then my chances of being a cop go down a ton.

It's not just academics though, it's my personal life too. I have trouble knowing how to act and talk to other people, leaving me with basically no one that actually wants to talk or hang out by their choice. I grew up with tons of friends in elementary school, and now it seems no one truly cares for me...

And don't even get me started with money. I am going to have loans to pay when I am done with school and I have not had a stable job in my life. I already know that I am going to struggle through this for a long time.

But... I remember those that I would leave behind behind. I know my family would be crushed if I did kill myself. I also remember that it is the cowards way out, and the way for the weak to give up. I am not going to give up, and I sure as hell am not a coward! I am going to keep fighting, no matter how hard it gets to be. I am certain these dark thoughts will cross my mind again, but I'll keep pushing the goods thoughts through instead!

Big guys do cry, but it doesn't mean we are weak, it means we are still human.

Edit: re-uploaded the pic from my laptop so it's hopefully not as blurry from my phone. ^^;
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:iconcyndergirlonly:
Cyndergirlonly Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh Nate, do you really have to keep all your emotions in? I mean, just because you are going to be a cop, doesn't mean that you can't be human you know. Everyone cries from time to time, and I think it would be a lot easier on your body if you were more open about them. There is just so much your body can handle before it falls apart, all at once. So if you ever feel like crying, do it, cry it all out. You have friends here to support you, and help you through what you're dealing with. So please, do as your own body wants, and cry, it's much better than keeping it all inside in silence, trust me I know. Please do talk to me if you need to, I'm here for you!!!
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:iconholycross9:
HolyCross9 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2014
Just to let you know, our Lord, Jesus Christ himself cried during his time on Earth, and He's no weakling.  With that much said, it whould indicate that it's okay for men to cry, regardless of what anyone else says or thinks.
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:icondraconet:
Draconet Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2014  Student General Artist
*hug*
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:iconbyzance123:
byzance123 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2014  Student Digital Artist
good design :D
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:icons240sx24:
S240sx24 Featured By Owner May 26, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
whoa bro, im here too man. Your a strong guy mentally and physically. Trust me if you knew what im going thru as well you would see im in the same boat. I'm you pal when you need it.
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:iconmurghus:
Murghus Featured By Owner May 20, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
wow....bro I wish we'd talk more. rly
we are here 4 you
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:iconfroman4363:
froman4363 Featured By Owner May 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
thats really true! no matter how big or small you are you will always cry, also every time you look at a cop in the store you see he never smiles, he always has a straight face, or looks pissed off. It might be hard for you to do that at first but i think you will make a great cop ;D. If you pull me over on the side of the road for speeding 10MPH over the speed limit you will cut me some slack right x3
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:icondragonmarauder:
DragonMarauder Featured By Owner May 11, 2014
I'm rather perplexed why many people think that crying is a sign of weakness, especially when situations can get to be almost insurmountable. If you ever need a talk, you know where to find us. All of us. 
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:iconreichenator:
reichenator Featured By Owner May 12, 2014
I know.
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:iconbreadcake:
breadcake Featured By Owner May 11, 2014
I wish we'd talk more man. I'd be here for ya.=/ 
Miss ya big bro. 
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